I have a love-hate relationship with Ebay. In the early days, I was a total Ebay junkie. My obsession began in graduate school, circa 1998. Before that, I had offloaded all my shit at the nearest Goodwill. I’m not exactly sure what turned me on to Ebay, but certainly from an environmental engineer’s perspective, the opporuntity to make some dough while recycling (rather than discarding) goods carried significant appeal. Anyway, I think my first sale was an old camera Canon Suresnap camera. And my first purchase was a bike rack, which eventually resurfaced on Ebay, because the model didn’t fit my car. Ha, those were the days– learning the ropes. Figuring out BidPay and Paypal and cutting/pasting every text input in Word to avoid losing (and having to re-enter) the damned item description. I have to say, I was hooked fairly quickly. I really enjoyed the finality of getting rid of my stuff. There was such good closure, after a mere 7 days. Plus, I knew where my stuff was going. Life was good: people were buying, and I was getting positive feedback. So much easier than earning good grades in school.

Sadly though, the warm fuzzy feeling didn’t last long: my fallout with Ebay happened in 2002. Some be-otch from an island off Alaska took like 2 months to send me a money order (uh, hello? Ever heard of Paypal?). I then made the mistake of delaying shipment– not intentionally, I just got busy with other shit. And given that I was patient for weeks, I figured three days wasn’t a big deal. Boy was I wrong. Sweet lil’ “Budderfly” turned into a freakin’ preying mantis. And just like that, without any warning, a nasty feedback marred my perfect record forever. A heated email battle ensued, ultimately ending in two of my email addresses getting blocked by her spam program (who the hell buys those applications anyway?). I grew so enraged by this incident, I found myself losing sleep and scheming for a way to infect her computer with the worst virus ever created. I planned plenty more emails launched from my multi-accounts repertoire, but in the end, I let it go. For a confrontational, belligerent person like me, that was not easy. And well, given that I’m writing about “Budderbitch” three years later, clearly I’m not completely over the fiasco. Anyway, I laid off Ebay for a while after that rewarding encounter.

Of course, I have to admit: anytime John and/or I are back in the States, I dabble once again. Just can’t beat shopping for stuff without having to face the traffic or the crowds. John was back in the US in September, so I conveniently made him my mule. Picked up a cool purse and off loaded some old books. My rating is up to 50 now, not that I’m keeping track or anything.

Good thing I got a new purse. This new one has a cell phone pocket– which is perfect, considering that my previous purse did not and I lost my cell phone last week– the day before John returned to Shanghai. I don’t really know what happened, but I like to blame the old purse (no compartments), or I tell John I was too frazzled running around town finishing up errands and stocking the fridge, etc. Quite frankly, I had to pee, and though the other factors contributed, my biggest mistake was probably ignoring that urgency: not smart for someone who had UTI as a child… Clearly, my anxiety fucked up my judgement. I think I left my cell phone in the shopping basket.

Geez, the work to replace a phone! I tried hard to get the mobile back. The next morning, I headed back to the LianHua and asked the cashiers, the customer service desk… No one turned in a mobile. Yeah right. I know, would I turn in a lost phone? Nope. So by 10 am, I accepted reality: I had to purchase another. I proceeded to the computer malls. Really, I just wanted the same damn phone. I didn’t care that it was a discontinued model from two years ago. It contained all the features I needed, damnit. Well, no luck. All the vendors wanted me to drop 3000-4000 kuai on lame-o phones that didn’t even have fliptops! Come on! I’m desperate, but not THAT desperate.

Thank goodness for online auctions, man. Ebay China isn’t much to speak of, but there’s a Chinese site called Taobao which has been in operation for years. I think the only difference is that sellers don’t have to pay to post. Hehe, sure helps to be in the know.

Long story short, I found my phone. I admit, I did need the help of my polyglot friend Micah– the site was entirely and exclusively in Chinese. Yes, I basically forced Micah to register with Taobao. And then, as if that wasn’t enough, he had to email the sellers on my behalf, asking them to take the transaction offline. What a good Samaritan, that Micah. So, the next day, I had my phone replaced. And for just 1000 kuai. Was awesome. Synced that baby up to my computer via bluetooth, and I had all my contacts and calendar events restored.