Roughly one week after we read the spoilers for the Nip/Tuck season finale, John and I got our hands on the actual video clip. Oh my god. The worst episode. Ever. In the history of television. Hehe.

I mean, yeah based on the spoilers, we had very low expectations. Still, we didn’t think Nip/Tuck would stoop to a -10 on a 1 to 10 scale. Seriously, in one episode, all the redeeming qualities of that show went down the shitter. I suppose we should only blame ourselves: John and I were foolishly hopeful that the beautiful actors would pull something off. We thought the delivery would somehow mitigate the pain of a botched storyline. Nope. I could really go on and on about the inconsistencies, about the lame attempt to Silence of the Lamb the whole escaped carver plot. But I’ll spare you. We’re just glad the season’s over. Definitely need a break from that.

In Tokyo, we splurged and saw “Memoirs of a Geisha” at the theater. Excellent camerawork and soundtrack, but unfortunately, the script was awful. So many lines sounded misplaced and awkward. John and I’d look over at each other during the film and just roll our eyes. Some bits truly felt like high school (or middle school) drama. Yeah, major bummer. Then again, I guess I’d entered the screening a bit cynical: storylines involving young, prepubescent girls falling “in love” with grown men really disturb me (albeit not enough to keep me away altogether). As for the controversy surrounding Chinese actors playing Japanese characters, I feel it’s a bit extreme to insist that only a Japanese woman could understand or convey the cultural complexities and nuances of the geisha world. First, how many ordinary or even celebrity Japanese are really that familiar with the geisha life? Isn’t one point of the book (and movie) that geishas comprise a very special subsect of Japanese society? Isn’t that part of the “mystery”? Whether the actors are Japanese or Chinese, they still have to research and learn about geishas. Second, if I (a purebred Chinese) am repeatedly mistaken for being Japanese in Tokyo, and I honestly cannot physically distinguish many Japanese people from Chinese people (or caucasian Americans from caucasian Europeans, for that matter), is it fair to take offense at an actor from one Far Eastern Asian country portraying someone from another? Is it wrong for US films to cast a light-skinned African American in a Latino role? I don’t really think so. That’s not to say I think Japanese, Chinese, Koreans, etc. are interchangeable. Identity goes beyond just physical traits. If an actor’s physical attributes can convincingly match that of the character (unlike Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany’s), I think casting someone of one ethnicity to portray another is ok. As for making the emotional and cultural identities complete and fitting to the character, that is the job of the actor. Anyway…

I noticed “Memoirs” also did not contain a love scene between the Chinese actor Zhang Ziyi and the Japanese actor Ken Watanabe. I thought that was the whole reason China was delaying release of the film– because the government censors wanted to delete the Chinese woman-Japanese man getting-it-on part. Could this scene have been cut out by the director for all releases of the film in Asia, or was this the work of Japanese censors? I don’t know enough about the film industry. Ah well, it just might have been too hot for my prudish eyes.

Our place is falling apart. Two days after getting back to town, our bed broke again (and no, we weren’t re-enacting some scene on Nip/Tuck). Add that to our growing list of broken items: drawers, bookshelf, shoe cabinet. And we don’t even have kids, so all this damage is from light, daily use: just goes to show you how cheap our furniture is. So fine, had the maintenance guy come Tuesday to fix the beam. He had already come a few weeks prior to repair a broken beam then. That time, while nailing together the broken segments of wood, he damaged our floor (he just hammered the wood directly on top of the floor, without using any padding). This time, for the second broken beam, he replaced it with an entirely new one, but it wasn’t made of pressurized wood. John made a sketical face, but Mr. Zhang insisted the beam was adequate. Well, Wednesday morning when I sat at the end of the bed to put on my socks, there was a loud cracking noise. I still didn’t believe the beam would actually break, so John sat on his side to prove his point. CRACK, BOOM! Point taken.

Mr. Zhang came back to assess the damage. He suggested a new bed, so I text messaged the landlord. While waiting for a response, Mr. Zhang went ahead to repair the broken bookcase hinges. First of all, the guy never brings his tool kit. He had like one screwdriver on him. Borrowed my hammer and then needed to borrow my pocketknife. Then, the replacement hinges he had bought didn’t fit into the wood panel, so rather than going to get smaller hinges, he used my knife to cut out a bigger space for the hinge. I left the room for a second and next thing I know, he’s sliced his finger. The finger was in tact, but it was a deep cut and blood was spewing everywhere. The bleeding would not stop. Wads of paper towels drenched in blood. We got out our first aid kit but what to do? No idea. John couldn’t even stay in the room; the blood was too much for him. I put on some antiseptic and wrapped/bandaged his finger in gauge. I told him to go to the hospital. Get it checked out because it was a really deep cut. He refused. I suggested calling his department to report the injury. Refused. He then left. I was so disturbed and angry. I mean, this is the second time someone has come to fix stuff at the apartment and gotten seriously injured. If the shit in my apartment were more durable, none of this would have happened. I mean, you can’t just get by doing dangerous work with half-ass equipment and tools, you know? There is no worker safety. That’s why China leads the world in work-related deaths. That’s why every few weeks, you hear news about another goddamn explosion in the coal mines. Jesus Christ. And that’s just reported incidents. What about unreported events?

So yesterday evening, I called the landlord over. I just want a new bed. And I want new drawers. I want everything replaced with new stuff. I don’t want stuff repaired. He rejects my request and tells me he’ll replace the wooden beams with steel ones. He’ll superglue the drawers. I tell him that Mr. Zhang hurt himself badly while repairing this crap furniture. He tells me he’ll go check on Mr. Zhang. Ten minutes later, they both come back. Mr. Zhang just has a bandage on the finger. He didn’t go to a doctor. Just bought oral meds and put a bandaid on it. And the landlord has commissioned Mr. Zhang to handle the bed repair and drawer repair. What the fuck? I mean, give the guy a day or two to recover. He nearly sliced off his finger! I protested, but Mr. Zhang insisted he was fine. What can you do? Grown men don’t want to take health and safety seriously. They drive me nuts.

John and I got schooled in Tokyo. We were only there for four days but sheesh, downtown felt like the densest place on Earth and after walking around endlessly for hours, both of us were completely “jia le fu‘d” (a term we coined after Carrefour, the hypermart in Shanghai, where we ALWAYS leave with migraines).

Tokyo’s definitely a different place. No pushing and shoving, no spitting, no trash strewn all over the streets, AND get this, potable tap water. Yes, life in an industrialized country is good. Still, I’m actually getting the swing of being a rude, bad-ass, beotch in China. Outta my way, damnit!

Tokyo was surprisingly difficult to navigate. And I don’t think it was just because we didn’t speak Japanese. Whenever I asked people for directions, they too seemed to have a difficult time. For one thing, the “You are here” maps scattered near all the metro entrances are not oriented with north pointing up. Instead, they’re rotated so left on the map is left from where you are. Sound practical, but it totally confused us, because we just assumed up was north? But that’s not even the worst of it: the streets aren’t named, much less labeled. Blow up maps show a bunch of smaller streets but no frickin’ names!! Totally chaotic. John and I entered the danger zone (onset of hunger pangs) far too often because we couldn’t A) determine our exact location B) get ourselves to the food place whose biz card we had and C) get enough to eat when we finally did settle on a food place.

Still, Tokyo has its pluses. In a land where people are even more obsessed than the Americans with shopping, you gain access to a lot of specialty stores and products. As expected, John stocked up on notebooks and pens. We also ogled all the new gadgets in the tech stores. Like SH and big cities in the US, Tokyo also had all the big-name fashion boutiques, but unlike Shanghai or DC, there were actually swarms of people inside BUYING stuff. I saw so many LV bags swinging on the arms of hot ladies in Tokyo, that I asked my friend Kelly (who used to live in Tokyo and is fluent in Mandarin, Japanese, AND English) whether the bags were real. Yesiree, it’s the real McCoy in Tokyo. I thought the economy was in a recession? Guess there’s still plenty of dough to be had.

John has added Tokyo to his list of potential places to live. He says it’s because of the stationery and gadgets. More likely though, it’s because the women are hot. I don’t know what it is– a different gene pool, plastic surgery, makeup… no idea. But very attractive and fashionable beyond reason. Stiletto boots and mini, mini skirts everywhere… in the frickin’ dead of winter!! Was a bit bizarre. I know I’m no fashion maven, but I was armed with long johns, earmuffs, gloves, and a scarf. Go figure.

This week, John and I were like anxious little kids waiting up for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve. You see, Dec 20 was the season finale of Nip/Tuck, our latest show of the moment. Yes, I bitched earlier about the first episode of season 3 being totally off the wall, sexualizing Christian’s rape re-enactment… Somehow though, I got sucked in again. John says it’s because of the pretty people. Guess he’s right. So we were on the edges of our seats yesterday afternoon, waiting to get ahold of the episode. As usual, our Tivo/MythTV setup failed us again at this very critical time. Since the finale was a two-hour show, the second half conflicted with Dirty Jobs. The damn recorder, with its frickin’ artificial intelligence, decided it was “optimal” to record Dirty Jobs and then catch the re-run of Nip/Tuck the next day. Argh! Either way, I guess it didn’t much matter as long as I’d find the the long-awaited answer: who’s the goddamn carver?!

So seeing that I wouldn’t be able to watch the episode for the answer, I waited and hit the “refresh” button a billion times on TV.com. Surely, a viewer would post a reaction immediately after the airing, right? Nope. Damn fuckers took their time. At first, John was all up in my face, forbidding me to find the answer. He made all these bullshit arguments about how this show was “our thing,” and how discovering the Carver’s identity before watching the episode would have disastrous consequences for our relationship. Come again? Are you frickin’ kidding me? I love spoilers. I’ve always relied on episode guides. You never cared before, and you’re not about to pull this shit on me now. Plus, knowing what happens doesn’t change anything. I’ll still watch the show; I’ll still become fully engrossed. Happened with Felicity, happened (to a lesser extent) with Dawson’s Creek (I know, shit acting but I couldn’t help myself– I needed the teen angst), happened with the OC. In the latter case, reading the spoilers actually saved me from continuing on to season 2. So hey, spoilers can be a great thing. And John at least credits me for the OC foresight.

Well, it’s now day 2 following the Nip/Tuck finale debacle, and I’m getting a kick out of reading people’s reviews (they’re flooding in). Some people are so idiotic with their blind faith devotion. I mean, every single review of theirs is like, “Best show in the history of tv. Ever.” Ugh, like how old are you? 15? Puhleez. “The history of tv”? Enough with the histrionics. I mean really, you just can’t rank every episode a 10, ok? That’s not how the system works. It’s like asking my friend Nathalie about a movie, any movie. In her view, they’re ALL excellent. I mean, what kind of insight is that? Ah well, in spite of the lame-o reviews, there were some others that amused me. Like this:

…To me it was all a bit rushed and I was actually disappointed with the reveal.

Why — mainly because it didn’t seem to add up for me. Quentin and his sister? Wha? Why did Kit come to investigate and incriminate Christian to begin with. I would think being in the “cop squad” they would have investigated her background when hiring her and it would have been a conflict of interest for her to interrogate him. Lame. Second, what nobody checks to see if Quentin is really dead? They just wheel him to autopsy and she has jurisdiction in that area to release him? Hello — they aren’t going to check where is the body? Lame. Lame.

I don’t buy that Quentin came to Miami to fix C & S faces and then turned out to be the one that did it to them in the first place. Did any body notice but this was hypocritical. “Don’t fix my work” So he joins the staff and fixes his own work? Lame. Lame. Lame.

And now what? They are still running around in the tropics, does this mean we have to see more of them next season? Oh dear lord, let me vomit…

John says I’m totally like the people who review shows. I get all into the discrepancies in the story, and I overanalyze ad nauseum all the characters and their emotions. Hey, that’s what happens when you like to judge people, what can I say? Anyway, yeah the season finale was a huge letdown. But that’s not going to stop us from watching the episodes (once they finally complete the MythTV post-processing).

By the way, one reviewer said the finale “jumps the shark.” What the hell does that mean? My grasp of American culture and slang has always been weak (I blame that on being the daughter of immigrants…), but am I totally losing it? Please, enlighten me.

In other news, John and I are heading off to Tokyo tomorrow. I’m a little apprehensive about being in a place where I have no clue about the language. Guess this will be a good opportunity to experience what John went through when we first moved to China. The flight over is three hours, so that’s when I plan to cram a tiny bit of Japanese. Always doing shit last minute.

Oh, my students invited me out for hotpot last night. We went to a chain located near the Shanghai Stadium. Had a huge dining hall (I imagine to accommodate all the tour buses that pass through). Dinner was fun. My stomach was a little queasy afterwards, but all in all, the meal was a real eye-opener. Apparently, the staff had never gone out for dinner (in this home-style setting) before. So, at first, I was really confused because they had no idea what each other liked to eat. Cow stomach was a big hit yesterday. Luckily, I stuck with the veggies. The venue was kind of strange. During our meal, there were stage performances– a hulla dancer (she had 6 hoops going at once), a juggler, a singer. All of this was then followed by a painting auction, with bidding and all. Was so distracting. On top of that, my students were toasting every few minutes– sometimes the group toast, other times one-on-one. I had no idea what was going on. I’ll have to research the toasting custom. Just hope I didn’t come across as rude. They’re a sweet bunch, and I had a good time. Ok, running out of juice soon on the laptop. Gotta get packing anyway.

Yes, I was a Newlyweds junkie. And now, Nick and Jess are officially over. What a downer. Yes, I know they were Republicans and all into this “support our Commander in Chief” bull, but I couldn’t help myself. There was just something about watching them. Maybe it wasn’t so much Nick and Jessica who captivated me, maybe it was just the opportunity to focus on one relationship in a show. At the opposite extreme, John and I have been on the edges of our seats tuning into season 3 of Nip/Tuck. We’re suckers for that show too, but jesus, it’s so damn frustrating and annoying watching these characters move in and out of relationships, especially amongst the same group of people. It’s so 90210. Despite all this (plus the gratuitous threesome scene I bitched about earlier this season), John and I are dying over here trying to figure out who the carver is. The double feature season finale is Dec 20, but we’re still trying to get ahold of the Dec 13 episode. I am extremely impatient. Pathetically, I’ve already scoured the internet for spoilers. No damn luck. It’s driving me insane. Anyone up to date on what’s happening? I need some serious scoop! Hook me up.

In other e-news, I’m also searching for “Memoirs.” Damn film opened in the States earlier this month. Word on the street is, it’s not coming to China until February– the censors are all worked up over the Chinese woman-Japanese man sex scene. The nationalism can be a bit much over here, especially considering the pain the Chinese have inflicted on their own. Oh well, John and I are just going to see the film in Tokyo, in its full, unedited glory. Hehe, just four days left.

Boy, I am beat. Ran a bunch of errands today, all afternoon in fact. Paid utility bills, paid rent, went to the post office (two actually, because I waited in line at one for so long that I just ended up leaving), went to LifeLine to run computer backups. I know, it’s just a few items on the to-do list. Somehow though, it took hours. And at the post office, some European dude in front of me thought I was trying to butt in line or something. He had stepped to the right to deal with his big package, and I put my mail on the counter just so I wouldn’t have to dig them out of my bag. Look man, I know you’re in line. No problem. Well, I guess seeing that I looked Chinese, he assumed the worst and felt threatened. Next thing I knew, he backed all up in my grill with his monstrous box. Ugh. I was so annoyed. Plus, he didn’t speak a lick of Chinese, and he started getting all huffy with the mail lady. Whatever, man. At least try, with body language, something.

John cheered me up with food, of course. I had my little breakdown and then he gave me a chocolate eclair and a fresh batch of hummus. Isn’t he the greatest? Then he showed me some sketchy websites and video clips with Jimmy Kimmel and his kind (No, I’m not judgemental). Amusing to John, but irritating to me. Oh well, can’t expect perfection every time.

After a few minutes of that god-awful trash, he switched over to ChinesePod, which I love. We listened to the lesson on mild swearing. That was fun. Then, I don’t know what made him think of it, but he played that J. Ralph song, the one from the VW Jetta commercial where this dude is totally panicked and on his way to a church wedding where a woman and another guy are about to say “I do.” Argh, can you feel the tension? Anyway, the music is just so beautiful and melancholic… just a second into the music, and I recall every juicy bit of the clip, despite the commercial being several years old. And what a perfect diversion. I had to find it. Immediately. John spent like 15 minutes going through the Google results. I grew a bit impatient and went to get my laptop. Got it on the first try. “vw wedding ad clip.” Soooo good. I swear though, VW HAS to make a part 2. I know the damn ad only lasts a few seconds, but I’m hooked every time I watch it. I just have to know how this story ends! Without further ado, check it here.

So this evening, I had class with SABIC. The session went well: we discussed dealing with problems, using diplomatic language, handling uncomfortable situations, etc. For the current events part of the lesson, we read an article written last year for the Guardian. Basically, it reported on the abductions of humanitarian aid workers and how that prompted the pull out of many NGOs in Iraq. We touched on some interesting topics in class– whether hostage-taking was effective, whether a country occupied by a foreign military had the right to kill innocent civilians, whether the media should broadcast the realities of war (for example, the beheadings of hostages)… That my students responded with anti-US jabs didn’t surprise me, but I was a little disappointed they answered the questions only in the context of the US occupation in Iraq. To me, these issues apply anywhere there is conflict: it could be the Middle East, it could be Afghanistan, it could be right here in China… oh well, I wasn’t exactly sure whether to bring up the recent villager uprisings in Guangdong.

On my commute home, I tuned in to NPR and Dem Now on the iPod. The particular show I had downloaded talked about the 4 CPT hostages taken by militants. Now, I’m not religious, and I don’t agree with missionary activities… Not sure what their programs entail elsewhere in the world, but in Iraq, the CPTers joined with Iraqis in calling for human rights for detainees and an end to the unjust war. Anyway, the DemNow show concluded with a statement delivered by Tom Fox’s daughter, Katherine. FYI, Tom Fox is the only American among the four hostages, and he’s from Virginia. I was so touched and moved by Ms. Fox’s speech that I nearly choked on the train. And after I arrived home, poor John was treated to a total meltdown. There’s just something about these people who leave everything to pursue a passion, a hope, a dream. I really admire that strength and courage. And it made me sad, because I realized that I should do more. I need to convert all this fragility and hypersensitivity bullshit into action, because for one, it’s a damn inconvenience. I mean, literally, I can crack in public any second. But anyway, enough about me. Judge for yourself: here’s the transcript of Ms. Fox’s speech. For the full effect, listen to the tailend of the Dec. 12th broadcast of DemNow.

I am the daughter of Tom Fox. My father made a choice to travel to Iraq and listen to those who are not heard. He meets with families who are missing loved ones. He has spent most of his time in Iraq trying to free detainees. I did not want my father to go to a country where his American citizenship could potentially overshadow his peaceful reasons for being there. But this is who my father is. He is deeply committed to a peaceful resolution to these issues. He is there because the Iraqi people are not being heard and are, so often, not supported. I feel as if this has to be a mistake that he has been taken. He is there only shed light on the experiences of each Iraqi he meets. He is there to help. Peacefully, respectfully and completely.
He tells me of how well he has been welcomed by the families he has met. The graciousness, mercy and compassion he has experienced in the country is something he often mentions when we speak. Neighbors come to visit and bring food and kindness. He is moved by the warmth of the people he has met.

He is my support and my guide. I need him safe and with me again. I will continue to hold him and everyone that he is with in the Light and pray for a peaceful resolution. Please let him go. I need him home.

I’ve been a mad travel agent these last few days. I tell you, I never thought I’d see the day when those annoying frequent flyer miles would pay off. Finally, I’m getting some action out of those things. My father had a bunch of miles on his NorthWorst account (from back in the day when that was the only airline that connected DC to Taiwan). His account had been inactive for the last four years, but he had tons of points to burn. In just a few clicks, John and I had two free roundtrip tix to Tokyo for the holiday. Awww yeah! See, my OCD organization skills are coming in handy. And I suppose being my parents’ PA has its perks…

Today I booked a weekend trip to Harbin. Still spent like 2 days researching all the options (this is where my OCD cripples me) but in the end, we got to use our China Eastern frequent flyer miles. We had enough points for two one-way tickets, so not too shabby. Yay. Of course, Bubs and I are going to freeze our asses off in -30 C, but hey, I hear the Ice Lantern Festival is really cool, and Russian food should be tasty!

In other travel news, Shanghaiist and the Shanghai Daily reported that an express train line will link Shanghai and Tibet come July. Due to high altitudes (4,000 meter above sea level) for roughtly 960 km of the journey, train cars will be pressurized like airplane cabins. The trip is expected to take 53 hours. John’s already told me this is going on our travel list… maybe August or September though (don’t want to be the guinea pigs). So, who’s on board for that trip?

Yesterday, while searching for ground cloves (my quest continues), I came across tahini at City Supermarket. You have no idea how many times I have gone to that damn place only to discover that they sold out of tahini. Who the hell is buying all this sesame paste? Anyway, looked like they were all stocked up this time; the jars lined several shelves. I had actually given up on locating tahini; figures it would appear after I’d stopped searching. So I stood there debating whether or not to buy: I just wanted ordinary tahini, but City only had this organic stuff, at about $7 USD a jar. Obviously, I caved. After all, who knows when I’ll see it again. Ah well, hopefully it will last forever.

So this afternoon, I prepped dried garbanzo beans (using the quick soak method) and gave this hummus recipe my best shot. The recipe came from an Iraqi cookbook (which I don’t actually own) called Delights from the Garden of Eden. And yummy, the hummus was stellar. Now I wish I could credit the recipe, but… the instructions called for 2 15-oz. cans OR 1 1/2 cups dry. I hadn’t measured the beans dry, so I just had wet beans. Now the 15-oz can, does that weight include the liquid or bean juice? See how confusing food stuff can be? Do you feel my pain? Yes, thank you for playing the violin for me. Oh well, I figured at least this time I had all the ingredients; that was half the battle. The rest was just a matter of throwing it all together, right? Wrong. My taste buds might as well be dead. My concoction was a pathetically bland mixture. Thank goodness Bubbey entered to save the day. Tons more salt, paprika, and lemon juice later, the hummus tasted perfect. I’m already craving the next batch for tomorrow. Unfortunately, recreating the masterpiece will not be easy. I’ll have to do some backtracking with the wet beans/dry beans portions. Either that, or call on the magic of Bubbey once again. Pain in my ass, really. All just for hummus.

So John and I went to a BBQ yesterday. My friend Susie is a big dog lover. She’s got her own lil’ pup, and she’s also fostering Lulu. Her other guests brought their dogs as well. Not to brag or anything, but geez, I’ve been around the doggie block, and seriously, R&M totally deserve their whole “Angels on Earth” appellation. I mean, in the course of three hours, two dogs got stressed from all the commotion and peed on the carpet, one had to be watched at all times (or else he would jump on the table and scarf down all the food), and the other was so attached to mommy that she whimpered when mommy went to the restroom. Come on, now. I know you’re a dog that depends on your human, but goodness gracious, some independence please! Yes, my angels deserve many, many more outings and kitty hunts.

Sorry for the long absence again… I just haven’t been in the mood lately. One reason could be my getting upstaged by my blogging protege, i.e. Bubbey, who also happens to be a self-proclaimed, award-winning photographer. I mean come on, how can I compete for readership when competition is so damn fierce? Ok, just kidding. Really, I just haven’t been up to it. For one, the daily news continues to depress me: another goddamn fucking blast in China’s deadly coal mines, the US and its continuing bullshit practices and policies, Alito and his anti-abortion agenda, wars here, fighting there, torture who knows where… seriously, who can deal with this? Every day, I feel more and more strongly about my no kid policy. Two misanthropes simply cannot raise a child. On that note, I’m trying to focus on more positive things. What better diversion than food? So, I’ve been on another dangerous baking kick. I’ve baked like three yellow cakes in one week. Luckily, two were for parties (Yeah, can you believe? We’re actually getting invited to dinner parties?). Actually, I’ve wanted to branch out to other recipes, but I can’t find ground cloves for the life of me. I’ve gone to Carrefour, City Super, the upscale Lianhua, and Hui Jin. I’m told the Pines may have it. Last time, I just omitted cloves from the recipe. I mean, really, can 3/4 teaspoon be that critical? According to John’s sophisticated palette, the answer is yes. I made Molasses Spice cookies the other day, and without flat out saying it, John hinted they were off. Story of my life when it comes to food escapades. What can I do but continue trying.