OMG, I was at the Trader Joe’s yesterday, waiting in line for an eternity because the lady in front bought her groceries via check. Hello, it’s 2006! Who pays for groceries with a personal check? Seriously, seeing the lady bust out with the checkbook… that just blew me away. Get with the program people!

These days, people are really trying my patience. I had the biggest ordeal earlier this week jumping through the multiple bureaucratic hoops just to get to the point of submitting my application for the CA clean air sticker (which would grant me the special privilege of driving my hybrid in the HOV lane). First, I had to go to the DMV myself (rather than wait for the dealer to do it on my behalf) so I could get the plates the same day. Unfortunately, different DMV offices require different paperwork. My first trip to Fremont DMV was foiled. Supposedly, I needed some special dealership signature. Then I went to the Hayward DMV (because they didn’t require this paperwork) but the line was so long, I had to leave to get back to the office for a meeting. My third attempt finally worked. First thing, right as they open the doors. That’s the only way to do it. Got the plates. Step two was a trip downtown to get a hybrid fastrak (like the SmartTag) transponder. Luckily, I took the day off Friday, so I had plenty of time to sit in traffic (because people out here drive in the rain like people in DC drive in the snow) on the way. You know, I really don’t understand the segmentation between faxed applications vs. in-person applications. You see, ever so obsessed with efficiency, I called Fastrak to see if I could fax in the paperwork and then just pay to have them Fedex the gadget to me. Nope. Faxed applications take five business days. If I want the transponder sooner, I have to go in person. So fine, went into the office. No one was freaking there. I mean, the place was dead. The good news of course is that I was in and out in a few minutes. The bad news is, why couldn’t those same people process the faxed orders since they were shooting the shit anyway… whatever. So once I got the plates and the transponder, I was legit to submit my sticker application. Apparently, these things are in limited number. Only 3,000 stickers left, like for ever. And it’s first come first served. Hopefully, I’ll get in just under the wire. Otherwise, I’ll have to figure out alternatives. Regardless, I’m driving in the HOV lane one way or the other… ‘Nuff said.

So yesterday was my company holiday party. We had this “white elephant” gift exchange, and I was getting all stressed out finding a decent gift for under $15. I don’t know about you, but you can’t buy shit for $15. Seriously, you have to cough up a bit more for anything that won’t end up in the trash. So I thought and thought… in the end, I think I did rather well. I bought a badminton set. Obviously, not the best quality but still, I’m pretty proud. It’s much better than potpourri and mugs. In fact, my gift was a winner. But the thing that stressed me out the most was the wrapping. You see, I was fine with just tissue papering the set and putting it in a gift bag. However, John insisted that I had to put it in a box. Then I thought okay, I’ll put the gift in a big cardboard Dell box. And I’ll put a bow on it. Nope. Not good enough. Apparently, you have to wrap it and make it all pretty and presentable. God, I hate that shit. That’s what I hate about the holidays. All that waste. I mean seriously, wrapping paper is ridiculous. I mean, what are we, dogs who love to rip through packaging to get to the treats?

Ultimately, I caved to pressure from John. I not only put the gift in a box, I filled the box with stuffing (which was cross-cut paper from my shredder) and I even wrapped the fucking box with newspaper. I know, ugly as hell but what the fuck ever. That’s the lowest I’ll go. Yeah, yeah, maybe gift wrap is recyclable but for one, I’ve never seen people recycle gift wrap/packaging. In fact, at the end of our party, I ended up taking home all the empty cans and bottles and boxes. I know, totally anal but I can’t help myself. I have OCD. What you going to do about it?

The holidays are just so excessive. And if you don’t want to participate, you get ostracized for being a Scrooge. I actually would like to give a donation on someone’s behalf, but John thinks that idea is lame. Shrug. Supposedly, there’s a movement to simplify the holidays… unfortunately, I just don’t see this catching on yet.