After Felicity ended, Keri Russell practically fell off the planet. Sure, she was in a few movies here and there, including The Upside of Anger, but for the most part, there was like zippo scoop on her. I know, the series ended YEARS ago, but I must confess: I still miss my buds Javier, Elena, Noel, and of course, troubled little Ben. Ben, Ben– yes, I know the dude is bad news but still, he sucks me in.

Anyway, MI3 put Keri back in the limelight. But damn, after all that hype, she was only in the movie for 10 minutes. What the hell? So yes, clearly I’m obsessed with Keri Russell. She’s just so damn beautiful. Plus, she’s like the antithesis of Hollywood, at least that’s my perception. Top honor for celeb gorgessity though has to go to JLo– despite her fur coats, fox-fur eyelashes, and all.

But Keri is top ten. Ah, I digress. So I’m a few weeks late on the news, but Keri is pregnant! Yes, another one bites the dust. The dude is some non-celeb… the only descriptor on him is “contractor.” Totally generic. I mean, come on, does that mean like a construction contractor or more like a DoD contractor or just a consultant? Yes, nebulous at best.

So the baby circle is definitely expanding. Over the holidays, I met up with a high school friend– she graduated in the class before mine. Pregnant. Due in March. Her cousin (who was in my class) is pregnant too: due in June. College classmate pregnant. Due in a few days. I just don’t get the family/baby craze. Seriously, John and I were at the store today, carting behind a lady and three kids. Jesus, she had a cartful of shit, a girl whining about something and then two little boys screaming and crying. Apparently, one boy had wiped snot all over the other one’s shirt. Eww! Exactly. Insane but whatever, I’m not going to feel sorry for these people. They asked for it.

And sadly, now Felicity has joined the league of parents. Nuts. Might as well write her off this instant. Next thing you know, she’ll start touting how childbirth gives her an indescribable sense of selflessness (a la Gwyneth), blah, blah, blah.

I definitely have kid phobia. And an even stronger pregnancy phobia. I swear to God, every couple months, I freak myself out thinking that I’m pregnant. I know, I have an obsessive compulsive level of redundancy in my birth control program (probably a factor of safety of 3), so statistically, the chance is like zilch. Still, it’s an irrational fear, and last month, I convinced myself it was a possibly. Thankfully, my mind was just fucking with me. But damn, I’m like one step away from setting up a contingency plan… Ok, possibly too much info for you. I’ll leave it at that. Felicity Porter is pregnant. What a drag!