The parentals were in town for Memorial Day weekend. Actually they flew in the Wednesday before and left the Tuesday after. John and I tried our best to present ourselves as a normal couple, but I think the parents caught on relatively quickly when they couldn’t find the right soy sauce in our cupboards. We didn’t have cooking wine either. I mean, I told them we don’t cook…
The thing is, we’re on totally different feeding plans. John and I eat Chinese only occasionally. My parents, on the other hand, ONLY eat Chinese. So meal number 1, we went to a Chinese place. After that, they insisted on going to the Chinese market to buy food for the week, which was fine with us… we definitely appreciated coming home to a hot meal. Still, how much seafood (and fruit) can two people consume in six days? Fish at every meal. You have no idea how many times John begged me to go to BK. I know, he’s disgusting.
Anyway, it was good to see the parents, but we didn’t have too much to say. I took them to a few scenic places, but they are pretty sensitive to temperature and wind (that’s where I get it from!) so they didn’t have a good time. We ended up renting a bunch of Chinese movies. Most were pretty forgettable, unfortunately.
One night, John and I watched the Joan Chen movie Saving Face about a mother and her ABC daughter who happens to be lesbian. I mean, sure there was homosexuality in it, but I thought the movie had interesting dynamics. I thought my parents would be ok with it. Well Jesus f-ing Christ. The scene where the two ladies flirt? My parents flipped out. We basically had to turn the movie off. And then I got so pissed off by their reaction. Later Mom and I got into a big fight about the usual: she’s clueless; I’m a spoiled bitch; Johnny’s lame; blah, blah. Then she made some ridiculous comment blaming my cousin (who she insists is gay) for causing all this heartbreak in his family. Chinese parents, I tell you. With all the shame and pain they suffer from their kids, I don’t know why they still bother with procreation. On one hand, you have my aunt and uncle choosing to take offense to something that really has nothing to do with them. My cousin isn’t being an asshole to them. He just doesn’t like women. On the other hand, you have my parents who are total gluttons for pain– Johnny’s a total dick to them and they just endure it. From my experience, I swear the pain subsides with estrangement. But do they ever learn? Nope. Well I guess that’s a consequence of the way they choose to parent. I know, sounds harsh but it’s their bullshit decision. If he actually demonstrated some respect, maybe there would be something worth fighting for. But he doesn’t give a shit about anything or anyone other than himself. Example? I get these mass emails about his projects, his essays, his screenings, blah, blah. If I don’t reply, I obviously am not interested, so stop spamming my inbox!
When my parents visited, they asked me to fucking book a roundtrip ticket to China for him using my dad’s frequent flyer account. A fucking Duke AB Scholar and he can’t book it his damn self. That’s why this is a situation that will never amend. Wiping a 30-something’s ass will never result in any kind of progress. Whatever. No longer my problem.
But back to the homophobic stance: Eye roll. My parents just don’t get it. Why’s it ok to watch Chinese movie after Chinese movie where the protagonist is some misogynist or where there’s major incest going on– somehow that’s not repulsive? Somehow that very watchable and tolerable? Ugh. So disappointing.
That’s the thing about my parents. Nice people but conservative in an irksome way. And certain comments they make just get under my skin. For example, my parents talked to this Chinese lady about her process for renting out her townhouse. She had one ridiculous requirement after another. Sure, it’s important to have good tenants, but can she really stipulate that she wants grad students only from the med, law, business, and pharmacy schools? And can she eliminate Indians because their cooking stinks up the house? My parents told me that, and I said the lady was racist. Didn’t believe me. Wtf? My parents came to my house for a week and stunk it up cooking all their damn fish?! Chinese cooking is pretty greasy and smelly– would their friend eliminate Chinese renters from the list too? Nope. Plus, the lady was charging like $2500/month in rent and she wants to control what the tenants cook/eat in their home?
Phew. Yes, a lot of pent up negative energy. This post was just supposed to be about the fruit and seafood safari. Sidetracked. Signing off now.