Since John was totally useless in learning the trade secrets from our last professional home cleaning (the ants are at bay now), I decided to stay home today for the visit from our cleaning crew. I thought for sure there was some new wonder gadget or super solvent that would clean like magic. Nadda. Zippo. Zilch. Plain old Comet, Soft Scrub, Pledge, Mrs. Meyers, a floor sponge mop, and a shitload of rags. 100% manual labor. There is no goddamn secret. What a frickin’ buzzkill. But damn my house is clean. The cleaning army is awesome, and I’m cutting our cable to feed my newest addiction: a clean house.