I’d been meaning to write for the longest time, but after returning from Asia, I fell into a major funk. Reasons? Oh, there are endless possibilities:

1. After frolicking around the exciting metropolises in Asia, returning to the suburbs was anticlimatical to say the least.
2. For me, the holidays spell anxiety and disappointment: they remind me just how little I fit in with society’s ideals regarding family. Speaking of which, how many people have contacted me on Facebook only to inquire about my brother. Jesus, do I need to post a note on my profile stating that I have no idea what my brother is doing– we’ve been estranged since late 2003?
3. The last minute cancellation of all my holiday plans (including what was going to be a therapeutic visit to see my bud Pamela in southern California followed by a week-long cram session in Mexico) was a major downer.
4. I’ve grown increasingly frustrated (or fatigued?) with “chasing perfection,” as John explains it.

To exacerbate my crappy mood, John and I started fighting again. Have you ever seen The Story of Us? It follows a couple through the entire rollercoaster ride from the fun and exciting courtship to the new life together/best buddy phase to the resentful, annoyed, distant period, and back full circle to starting again. Well, the last few weeks, we were in that pissy, belligerent, irritable middle period. For days, I wondered how we possibly transitioned from best friends to annoyed roommates. Maybe that term is too harsh, but seriously, it felt like one extreme to the other.

Christmas eve sucked. We tried to get along but I went to bed after I made dinner. I was exhausted, and I yearned for simpler, happier times.

I finally emerged from this darkness the day after Christmas. Chuck and his wife had invited us over for Christmas dinner, and though I wasn’t in the mood to feign happy holiday spirits, I considered it a welcome distraction and also a perfect opportunity to see how the new kitten Stanley was settling in. As usual, Chuck cooked a delicious meal.

When I asked whether he had slaved in the kitchen since morning, he said, no, only since the afternoon. He hadn’t been feeling very well due to the chemo treatments (his fingers have now gone numb), so he slept in late. Really it just takes a little perspective to kick my ass back in gear. The day before that, I had told Fonda John and I might skip going over for Christmas dinner (since we weren’t getting along). She asked what we were fighting about, and when I tried to explain, it all sounded so foolish and petty and insignificant. Not that I want to dismiss our disconnect completely, but relatively speaking, consider what they experienced this past year, between Chuck’s diagnosis and Oscar’s abrupt death, I know I have a lot to be thankful for.

Long story short, we are back to trying again. And since the day after Christmas, we’ve been doing much better. In retrospect, the answer seems so simple but I suppose as my father always says, “it’s easy if you know how.” I don’t know that the current answer will always be the correct future answer, but for now, I’m relieved to be back in my groove. Sleeping all night and all day just wasn’t me. But I suppose every now and then, the soul needs to play itself the violin. I hope to be back to a regular writing schedule. Thanks for hanging. Oh and happy new year. Get those resolutions down on paper!

John and I arrived in SFO on Sunday morning. Despite having plenty of leg room on this reasonably-lengthed flight (10 hours direct), we were cranky as hell– during and afterwards. I tried not to complain, because looking around, everyone (except for first class) was subjected to the same uncomfortable conditions; yet, the travel was just so utterly unbearable. I know, what the hell happened to my toughness? What the hell happened to my tolerance? Oh that’s right: never had tolerance to begin with. Anyhow, by the time we got our baggage and cleared through customs, we were absolute disheveled messes. My friend Tina picked us up, and I’m sure she was thinking, “Wtf??!”

All I know is, I really need to figure out the secret to traveling better, because ultimately, this is going to be a huge limiting factor to us being world travelers. Hmm, I should just ask my friend Jenny, who used to be a flight attendant for Cathay Pacific. Can you believe two years ago she almost convinced me to apply for a flight attendant job with Cathay at their SFO base? I know. Hilarious. Everyone I know says I would totally suck as a flight attendant. I happen to think otherwise, but that’s just because I’m cocky like that. Regardless, thank goodness flying is not my profession. I much prefer sitting in front of the computer. Ha.

So the Asia trip finished up nicely. John and I hit a wall towards the end: originally, we had had all these lofty plans to cruise around our old stomping grounds, to get our hair/nails done at our local salon, to check out our old apartment, old supermarket… yes, we were all about tapping into the nostalgia. But I’m happy– and a bit relieved– to report that there are no plans to move back to Shanghai. Like Cary Tennis wrote before, It was a great situation that ended. And now I feel the closure. Sure, I could have lasted longer, but that period is over now.

On our short three days in Shanghai, we met up with a couple of old friends. We hung out with Kathia, whom we last saw in like 2005 maybe?), and we met her adorable doggie Mush. He was so cute, but seeing him really made me miss our pups. Funny thing, Mush was wearing this red Castor & Pollux herbal collar– it made him smell so damn good. Guess who has that same collar now? Yup, Remy and Martin both. I was skeptical about the herbal collar before, but they smell delightful! I almost want to smell like that! (Leave it to Kathia to research all the quality dog products). SH was a great end to our Asia trip: Kathia took us to all the cool finds. The first night we indulged at a chocolate lounge/bar called Whisk. The next day, we got foot massages (I sure miss my massages!) and then stayed up late talking at a quaint little cafe. She recently nailed a kickass job (as well as a nice new apartment), so things are really starting to gel now… Congrats Kathia!

In other news, we also met up with my friend Helen. Helen is my Lipstick Jungle idol: she’s got the whole successful corporate woman thing going. She’s Shanghainese, so there’s always interesting insights from her. For example, how would you rate the following items on the sexually progressive-conservative spectrum?
– tampon use
– premarital sex

I was complaining to Helen that I was having a difficult time finding tampons in Taiwan and HK. Apparently, in Shanghai, tampon refers to both the pad AND the “stick.” So Helen starts telling me this story about how one of her Chinese coworkers needed a “tampon” at work… A British colleague handed her a Tampax. The response? The Chinese lady was so HORRIFIED that she gave the thing back! Never, ever would they use something like THAT! Exactly. My perspective? Wtf? Freaking out for no damn reason.

Later in the day, Helen starts telling me about her younger sis, who moved to Australia two years ago with her boyfriend. I started asking all these roundabout questions like, “Did they live together immediately when they moved overseas? So, they lived together before they were married??” Helen’s response, “Of course. Hello, this is modern China. Sex before marriage is very common.” Uh ok. Is it just me, or do you see a serious disconnect here? Isn’t it fair of me to assume that premarital sex is out of the question, especially given their whole tampon stance? Apparently, I’m missing something. Cultural insights.

I’m such a retard. So there’s been that ongoing tension between China and Taiwan, right? Well, on arriving at our hotel, I proceeded to pay the airport cabbie with 200 Taiwan dollars. Yeah, so the sun had gone down and well, the Taiwan bill is pink as well. Still, I should have known better. I mean, hello, Mao Zedong was totally missing in action… Duh. Sometimes I am just so damn gauche. Fortunately, the cabbie didn’t take offense. He just looked puzzled and kept flipping the bill. Leave it to whitey to point out my error. What would I do without my Bubbey?

1. John and I are little piggies. We were nibbling on my favorite See’s Candies chocolate nougat bar, and little crumbs got on the white sheets. Yeah, now it looks like we shit in our bed. Poor housekeeper… we’ll have to leave extra tip and maybe a note explaining so s/he isn’t totally disgusted.
2. In the land of caged golden birds, I was extremely suspicious when I saw an older Caucasian gentleman with a gold band on his RIGHT ring finger. Come on, a plain gold right-hand ring? Sketch. I’m almost completely sure he’s playin’ like he ain’t married… lyin’ fuck.
3. John and I were in Macau today but all day we had to keep reminding ourselves where we were. In Macau, the official languages are Chinese and Portuguese, so we were expecting a very European influence. But stepping off the turbojet watercraft, we immediately felt like we were back in China. Just something about the dirtier environment, the ubiquitous construction, and the tenacious hecklers at the ferry terminal. And all I heard was Cantonese.
4. Later, inside the gigantic Venetian Hotel, I again had to double think where the hell we were. Because we were kind of in Italy (thanks to the Disney-esque Venice interior) but then this hotel felt so similar to the Venetian in Vegas so I felt like we were in Nevada, and yet we were technically in Macau. See how my mind has lost its agility? I’m like watching Memento all over again!
5. Macau is freaking dead! How this place has supposedly surpassed Vegas as the world’s premier gambling spot is a mystery to me. Streets, restaurants, casinos all very low traffic. Perhaps there are a few very high rollers playing here? I don’t know. As for little potatoes like John and me, we played some roulette and WON! About USD $50. Not too shabby.
6. Ate another horrible meal. That’s two strikes for LP!
7. Bubbey loves the big city. Oddly, it’s one of the few things I’ve found that really energizes him. Now he’s the one with all the pep. We’ll have to duke it out for the “Power Pill” title. I argue that after 7 days of emotional stress in Taiwan plus my hour-long swim at the hotel pool yesterday, yes, I’m damn worn out! Ok, so I’m grasping for straws; I’m not proud.
8. I ran out of toothpaste. Unfortunately, the nearby 7-Eleven only carries bubblegum-flavored Pokemon Colgate in travel size. It’s useless. What’s the point of brushing if there’s no minty fresh feeling?
9. Need to do some brain exercises to prep for more currency conversions tomorrow. My little coupon organizer of a wallet, for which I am often ridiculed, sure is coming in handy: so far on our trip, it’s helped me file USD, Japanese yen, Taiwanese dollars, Hong Kong dollars, and Macau patacas. Told you I would use all those dividers some day!

Let’s see… the highlights:

1. That night we first arrived? I’d forgotten about the Hongkongers driving on the opposite side of the road– I nearly got splatted crossing the street. (I’m feeling a bit less adaptable in my old age).
2. Before our trip, John gave so much talk about possessing all kinds of global currencies organized in cute little ziploks for his world travels. What happened to the HK dollars? Left at home.
3. We thought we’d still be game for Chinese food. Wrong. First meal in HK? A little dive Thai shop. Tasty but very spicy. Had to order a Thai iced tea to cool the burn.
4. Can’t beat feeling like a frump-a-dump amidst the fancy schmancy cosmopolitans. Will need to refocus on the makeover after I get home. So I can look fancy in the suburbs (while working for a granola organization). Yeah, that makes sense.
5. John and I are all about the public transportation. We rode the narrow double decker bus to Stanley yesterday. Beautiful spot with beaches and small shops along the water. Winding roads up got me dizzy, so over lunch, I took a Dramamine. In turn, that knocked me out (Rophynol style) so I was conked out the whole ride down (like could NOT keep the eyes open) and proceeded to sleep another two hours at the hotel. Meanwhile, John searched out another stationery store (store number 3 or 4 on this trip) and returned with his loot.
6. Consumed THE worst Indian food last night for dinner. Burned by LP. Should have known better when the place was totally empty. So disgusting. Thought I would hurl on the metro over to Tsim Sha Tsui.
7. Entered a couple high-end malls only to be reminded that I hate shopping (most of the time). Walked along the Avenue of the Stars, which reminded me a lot of the Bund in Shanghai. Took a million and one night shots (all to be lost later). Looked lightly for Andy Lau’s star but didn’t see it. Would rather see him in person but no luck. Sigh.
8. Rode the ferry from Tsim Sha Tsui back to Wan Chai. Only USD $0.32!!
9. Last minute planning: booked hotel for Shanghai (which is tomorrow!!).
10. Got up early this morning to blog (and also squeeze in some work). Bubbey knocked out still, so it’s nice not to have him hurrying me out the door.

Ahh, to be back in the big city again… where there’s a smorgasbord of everything, from options with transportation to restaurants to banking to shopping to IT. I know, John and I are total telecom junkies and snobs, but come on, what developed country still has crackly phone lines? I know, I’m still complaining about it!

Before we left Taiwan, I called a bunch of my cousins and aunts to thank them for hanging with us, but again, I couldn’t even hold a half-decent conversation because of the damn static. So frustrating!

So it’s been a little odd being back in Asia. Like when we went through the airport, there were still IR temperature monitors set up to keep an eye out for SARS. SARS! Is that so 2004 or what?! I mean what ever happened with SARS? There was all this global ruckus and then suddenly, the story went away… maybe the virus just ran its course. I don’t know.

Speaking of germs, I had the great honor of having my passport totally contaminated by the customs officer. You see, right as he finished stamping the passport of the person in front of me, I saw him dig his index finger deep into his left nostril. Yes. And then it was my turn, and I had no way out. And this was a brand new passport too! Completely manhandled and adulterated by his booger-digging finger. Gross. Welcome to Asia, right? Haha. Oh well, guess I shouldn’t be a sissy about such things… it could have been worse. Like the sick toddler in the next line over could have hurled on my shoe or something. I swear that kid was going to cough up a frickin’ lung.