Yeah figures I would try to blame my recent emotional instability on new meds… Well, I guess it’s just a hunch, but I DID just switch to a new BCP on Sunday (if you must ask, you don’t deserve to know).
Anyway, I was sitting at my desk this morning and my eyes suddenly filled up with tears. Yes, it was one of those days… when I hate people. I felt so strongly misanthropic today that I almost threw up. First it was a post the other day from my friend in Asia– insane animal cruelty where someone jammed a wooden stick down a poor dog’s throat and tied him to a metal rail. The picture is heartbreaking. Seriously, wtf is wrong with people? Makes me so sick to my stomach. Then this annoying news about Jesse James. John says he wasn’t surprised: “just look at the guy.” But it’s not just about Jesse James. It’s about men creeping left and right. Yes, women do it too, but by and large, I think it’s fair to say men started this whole game and they are definitely in the lead. But whatever. I just don’t get the infidelity thing. Get over your fucking self. You’re not the shit; you’re just an asshole: a selfish prick who thinks it’s ok to treat people you “love” like shit. Wel, fuck you. Yeah, just thinking about this gets my blood boiling. Then the last straw? Last night. The goddamn evening news. CalState East Bay professor busted for raping a 13-month old baby, AND the baby’s mom was in on it. I just cannot wrap my brain over any of this bullshit! It’s the frickin’ Duke official all over again! What the hell is wrong with this world? I just can’t take this anymore. I can’t take it.
So yeah basically, I was a veg most of the day at work. Frickin’ on the verge of tears. Luckily, I salvaged some of the afternoon after my new book arrived, and it got me working on the next steps for my dogs at work proposal…
I’m feeling better now. I had a long soak in the hot tub, and then I gave both dogs a bath (did you know bathing a dog removes 85% of the allergens for people who are dog-allergic?). I’m feeling old today. John and I were just realizing that our 7-year wedding anniversary is coming up next month. Now we’ll have been married longer than we had been dating before marriage. I still can’t believe how young we were when we met: just a couple of kids, really.
John came down for lunch today. We were at Pizza My Heart, and at noon, the place was swarming with teenie boppers. God, they sounded young when they spoke. Boy, at 20, I was convinced I had this world figured out. Sigh. So innocent and naive and idealistic back then. That really was ages ago.