So John went back to work in June part-time as guy #3 at a start-up. Two weeks ago, that dynamic shifted as one founder ousted the other… now John’s considering full-time. I suppose it’s about that time again. He had a long sabbatical the first time around, and this second time around was definitely needed but I guess it’s run its course as well. He made some huge strides in each, but with this latest one, he met some solid health goals, adopted a good routine, and the other day, he admitted that he had finally reached a happy place. Whew, is that all it took (right??)?

I think my defense mechanisms are on guard… I’m apprehensive about him being guy #2 at a start-up: the chaos is never good for stability and calm but at the same time, I admit that intellectually, those are the projects that draw him. So, here we go again. Are there new lessons? new tools? Yes, and I’m sure they’ll be put to the test.

As for me, I wonder about the start-up job for myself. I am also drawn to the intensity and energy and pace, but I’m not convinced it’s good for me. Sometimes secure and stable is comfortable. And I do enjoy my free time. 🙂 I just worry about this government job making me soft. These are all things I need to actually devote some of my free time considering!!

In other news, my skin is better… still not to the level I’m aiming for but goddamn, the whole thing last month was such an ordeal. I was experiencing all kinds of disfigurement (months of this bullshit), so I went to my esthetician at the acne clinic. She suggested spironolactone. My med friend suggested I inquire with my primary care doctor. I contacted her, and she didn’t feel comfortable prescribing for that use, so she recommended I see a dermatologist. Fine, whatever. Of course the derm was booked out like three weeks. When I finally saw her, she suggested changing my BCP and then going on Retin-A. Meanwhile, she wanted to try injecting me on the chin with some cortico-steroid. She said she wasn’t sure if it would help but she totally passed it off as no big deal and worth a try. Fine, let’s do it. Two weeks later, I get the bill and it’s fucking $200+ out of pocket. Those injections were classified as “surgery”!! Jesus f-ing christ. I dunno, maybe this is how shit went down when my father was practicing, but I doubt it. I feel like my dad at least gave people a heads up for how much shit was gonna cost. Like he would tell them to admit to the hospital after midnight so they wouldn’t be billed a whole day for just a couple hours in the late evening. No, $250 is not going to prevent me from buying groceries, but still, it’s annoying that the doctor would ASSUME the procedure/med is something I could afford. I mean, I know most derm stuff is elective but still, I would have appreciated some kind of communication like, “I’m not sure if this injection will help at all, but if you want to give it a try, it costs $XYZ. Do you want to proceed?” Otherwise, how the hell am I supposed to know how much my insurance will cover? Btw, now that I think of it, in the past I have asked the cost of procedures, and typically, I get some lame response like, we don’t know, you will have to call your insurance… ugh. Just seems like there could be a little more transparency there.

Ok, well time for an abrupt end to this posting. Hot tub time. 🙂