Hubs and I returned from ORD Sunday night: Chitown was an awesome (albeit packed) getaway. The BlogHer conference was super inspiring and Book of Mormon on Thursday night was freaking killer. The Bank of America theater was really small and cozy, so our orchestra seats were kickass. What a genius production. We also saw Million Dollar Quartet on Saturday night– pretty rockin’. I so love the theater.

So the craziest thing happened at the conference. This annual BlogHer event draws like 4,000 women attendees, and somehow I ran into an old friend from my days at feminist.org. Fucking insane, right? An act of fate, really– and we had such an amazing time catching up. Who would have guessed that we last saw each other in 2003!!! I love when random shit like that happens…

Back at the ranch, I got that Lubi daybed from CB2— the one I saw at the store a couple weeks ago. My office/guest room is coming together, with the help of my friend T and her eye for design… just in time for my parents’ visit in early September. Yup, they’re coming for five days. An eternity. I talked with them yesterday morning first thing after I woke up. And it was a bad way to start my day. My mother stresses me out to no end. She just never gets me. I mean, generally speaking, my parents are the kind who just want me to be the good little quiet and obedient Chinese girl who puts her head down and does her work. Don’t speak up, and don’t cause any trouble. Can you see why we clash so damn much?

Anyway… another thing the conference did for me: Sheryl Sandberg. Shit, she is the bomb, and so unapologetically feminist. Goddamn, someone who finally fucking groks it!! Something she said so resonated with me. It was basically: I’m not bossy: I have executive leadership skills. Damn straight, assholes! Back it up!! I know, I have mad crushes on the female power playas.

In other news, we got tickets to Funny or Die Oddball Fest at Shoreline in September. Dave Chappelle, Flight of the Conchords… it’s going to be good.

John and I are on detox. I started following a coworker’s daughter– she’s a nutrition/fitness blogger. Shit. I went to Sprouts last week and bought some ridiculous $12 jar of nut butter (Nutzo brand), plus trendy crap like almond milk, chia seeds, and goji berries. I dunno what this expensive shit is, but whatever, I’m just going to follow the program blindly. Last weekend, I made some “overnight oats.” The health fanatics online were raving about that stuff like it was deep-dish pizza or something. So I made it, soaked that slop overnight, had it the next morning, and it was disgusting. I forced myself to eat it, and then I got a tummy ache. Was in bed with the heating pad on for 3 hours. But I’m a stubborn ass. I didn’t want to throw it out, so I had the remainder of that gunk the next morning. It tasted better! Still not the same as pizza but edible. I figure once I wean my system off junk (at the moment, I’m cramming Cheetos down my piehole), I’ll eventually train my body to enjoy this bird food.

Ugh, I’m in such a foul mood this morning. Yesterday when I got home, Remy wasn’t in her usual spot by the couch. I looked for her in the house, no where. I always fear the worst now that she’s so damn old. After a few seconds of panic, I found her outside in the yard– eating her own shit. What. the. fuck? She never did this before. Aging has made her lose her frickin’ mind. Then she has this elbow sore that’s been bleeding all week. It’s like this weird open wound/hole within a callus. I’ve been slopping on the Neosporin for days, but I’m taking her in to the vet today.

John and I have been in Wyoming this past week. We head home today. But wow, what a wondrous, magical destination this is. I don’t believe in God, but shiit, if I did, this place would definitely qualify as “God’s Country.” You must add it to your list. Completely mind blowing.

That said, the place could use a few more Asians. At the rodeo, people looked at me like they’d never seen an Asian cowgirl (or at least an Asian wearing a western hat and boots?). Yup, look long and hard y’all, because I’m the real deal!! Haha!

We’ve had an awesome time… we kayaked, hiked, chased after wildlife (we sighted TWO bears, bison, elk, moose, marmots, bald eagles, antelope, etc.), binged ourselves silly… I took an Intro to Rodeo class on Wednesday before we hit the Jackson Hole Rodeo. Shit, I have uncovered my calling with barrel racing and roping. My horse Chocolate was an uber speed demon. I felt like I was launching off a rocket every time he rounded a barrel!! Too insanely fun! I am going to be harassing our cowboy (grazing expert) at work to no end after I get back…

What else. On Saturday, we went mountain biking for the first time ever. Teton Village has a new Mountain Bike Park (genius: the mountains are used for skiing in winter, then mountain biking in summer), so we got all decked out in the getup. Fuck, I felt like an invincible superhero. We took the ski lift up and then it was just crazy downhill coasting. We just did the beginner trails, but even those were pretty challenging. We were flyin’ down the trails: it was simultaneously scary and thrilling. Hubster was really getting into it, zipping through and skidding around all the turns. Guess we’re adventure seekers after all. I’m going miss this place!

In other news, a former coworker is a FB friend, and she recently posted a pic of her 6 y/o daughter wearing a t-shirt that read, “Hooters Girl in the Making.” And the accompanying post said, “Yes, I am THAT mom.” Annoying. I’m going to have to unfriend her ass.