John and I are finally reaching equilibrium. Hurray for normalcy! Activities are once again populating my Google calendar, I’m sleeping better, and after a couple of really gorgeous, sunny days, I’m feeling like life is good again. Of course, it probably helped that my buddy Pamela came up for a quickie weekend visit. The last time I’d seen her was way back in 2008, so it was nice to catch up and hang out. She was only in town for two days, but man, we maximized our time together. I took her hiking at Villa Montalvo, we shopped (unfortunately, I came up empty-handed… again!), got pedicures, caught a movie, wined, dined, and then last night, we partied like it was going out of style. Seriously. We did karaoke with John and Dave for 3.5 hours!!! So much fun. Unfortunately, my weeks of home training with Peter Cetera’s Glory of Love proved useless; thankfully though, I did all right with Lionel Richie’s Hello. And my rendition of LL Cool J and Boyz II Men’s “Hey Lover” was pretty hilarious, especially the line about “toning ya down with uh, vanilla ice cream.” Yeah, pretty raunchy, especially for a little puritan like me. Honestly, I think karaoke is gonna replace my Game Nights. Add it to the list, right?

I know, I have some big ticket items on the list right now: home karaoke system and used hot tub. Gonna have to start plotting what to sell next to earn some extra spending dough. 🙂 John thinks I should refurbish yard sale/old/used/free furniture and then re-sell. Sounds like too much damn work. I’ve never been much of an artsy DIYer. Plus, I’d much rather rent out my spare room through AirBnb, which also happens to be a service I’m dying to try. But John’s not keen on having strangers in the house. Bummer.

Anyway, we belted songs out for hours, and afterwards, I was totally hyper, so then the partying continued at home with board games and trashy tv. You see, John’s recently developed an affinity for nasty shit on tv. I’ll find him watching Jersey Shore and International Girls and anti-feminist crap like that. Ever since he had a guys’ night out (with MY guy friends!), I tell you… Long story short, we were all up past 2:30 in the morning!!! And then I had to take Pamela to the airport at 8 a.m. Yeah, I’m kinda bragging about it. You would too if you were never up that late for something fun. 🙂 Usually, I’m up in the middle of the night from neuroses or insomnia or web surfing bullshit, so this was kinda a milestone of sorts.

And then today turned out to be a pretty chill day. After the airport, I farted around, then went back to sleep from 10-2 p.m. Yeah, my schedule got all screwed up, but when I woke up this afternoon, I felt really refreshed. We hit the grocery store, John made an awesome steak dinner, I cleaned the house, bathed the dogs, and then at 10p, I sat down to catch up on some work. Yup, I work for the government, but we’re not all slackers you know… Tomorrow I’m off for my flex schedule. I had actually contemplated going into work just because what else was I gonna do… but after karaoke, I decided I would clock in some practice hours when the KTV place is dead and charges only $1/person/hr. Haha, my latest addiction grows. I think I’d like to do a rap song of sorts, maybe TLC or something.

Like John says, I’m aging backwards. Not only that, I’m at least a decade behind on all fads. Karaoke was huge like 10-15 years ago. Did I ever try it then? Nope. Even when John and I were living NEXT DOOR to a KTV joint in Shanghai, we NEVER tried it. I dunno what our problem was– too self-conscious maybe, too uptight. But now? I’m into it like we’re in the heyday of KTV. Oh well, at least there are places to go for it still.

Btw, the other day, an idea finally came to me for my tattoo: Chinese papercuts, like the cute animal/zodiac ones I purchased when I was in Shanghai. I especially love the water ox and the piggie. Anyway, note to self for that tattoo I’ll maybe get before I turn 40.

My parents were in town this past week… they just flew out this morning. Overall, they really are pretty low-key parents: they don’t have a lot of demands and they’re pretty flexible, but I still always get a little stressed trying to plan their visits. They say they’re fine just sitting at home, but both of them are such busy bees at heart. My dad especially. He cannot sit still, and I, of all people, can relate. So weeks in advance, I planned out an entire list of things to do. Turns out though, they’re so damn productive in the mornings that by afternoon, they’re sort of homebodies.

One of the biggest surprises? Dad is so damn handy around the house– I really had no idea. Of course, he took every opportunity to remind my mother and me that he has done all these things before, either with his past homes or with his current rental properties. “I’m a carpenter and a plumber and a gardener and a…” Yup, basically, he’s a superstar. Ah well, it was kinda entertaining how he bragged about it. And clearly, he was happy to be useful. The items he accomplished? He touch painted a bunch of places, fixed the leaking toilet, hung all my paintings, built additional shelving in the washer/dryer area, scrubbed the patio/sidewalks, cleared all the yard debris, mowed the lawn, pruned the trees, weatherized the front door, and caulked the guest tub. Seriously, I came home for lunch one day and the yard was so damn clean, it was practically unrecognizable. It was frickin’ awesome having my own little home clean-up team, I’m telling you. I could ALMOST get used to living with them. Haha.

And John was very relieved, because all those tasks had been on his list for MONTHS… now I’ll just have to draft a list of new items to keep him busy. Step it up, honey.

In terms of “fun” activities with the parents: we hit a lot of gardens in the area. Hakone Estate and Gardens is quite nice in Saratoga. Sunset Magazine’s garden and Gamble Gardens in Menlo Park/Palo Alto were simpler and less impressive, but still a great reason to get out and enjoy the sunshine. Best stop of all? Montalvo Arts Center in Saratoga– so beautiful. I could not help envisioning an awesome wedding there. I know, it’s so unlike me. Ah well, regardless, I can’t wait to go back and hike to the vista point.

Of course, we also did our fair share of Chinese grocery shopping. Seriously, we must have hit 5 different Asian markets multiple times in one week. Had to get the supply of ingredients and fresh seafood SOMEwhere, right? Unfortunately, bowling, the movies, and karaoke didn’t make the list. By the time I thought we could hit those places, my parents just wanted to go home and chill. Oh well. My buddy Pamela is coming to town this weekend, so in addition to clocking in some massive shopping, I think we’ll also hit karaoke. 🙂 I gotta demonstrate my newly acquired skillz with “Glory of Love.”

Overall, I’m pretty happy with how the parental visit went down. I still think my parents spend WAY too much time together, but at least now I can actually get along with them. No more drama from my 20s. And they didn’t even mention the baby thing. Thank goodness. I guess they finally read the memo. Plus, there was so much learning exchange going on… dad was showing me how to fix the leaking toilet, how to recaulk the tub, and… he even showed me how to tie a badass necktie, which I think I’m going to throw into my wardrobe at some point!! He also recently acquired an iPhone4, so John and I got him all up to speed on some key apps and such. Pretty cool to see him still moving the brain. We had a good time.

Now John and I are recovering. My Craigslist futon isn’t nearly as comfy as our bed, so tonight, it’s back to the full-on luxury. But before that, we’re hitting the movies. I’m very excited to see “The Social Network.” Yeah sure, I’m kinda over Facebook but who can pass on a movie about friendship and betrayal. Plus, it scored like 97% on Rotten Tomatoes!

Well hello there! Whassup, whassup? I’m off today, and let me tell you, I’m gonna just take it the fuck easy. Last night, I had my heating blanket cranked up and damn, I slept so soundly and woke up totally relaxed.

Of course that doesn’t stop me from setting an agenda for the day… What’s on tap? Putzing around: I did some cleaning, took the dogs to the park, posted some crap on Craigslist, started my beautification program… You see, my friends Jess and Joe are getting married this Saturday, so this week the beautification program begins. Yup, at the wedding I’ll be in the company of lots of SF city slickers, so I gotta bring my A game. Nah, actually I got a nice dress for the occasion and well, beautification is required because it’s showing a bit of skin. So yup: pedicure, exfoliation, mud mask, eyebrows, hair conditioning… the works.

Of course, just my luck, I fucked up on my BCPs and I’m also fresh out of supply, so knowing me, I’ll be a hormonal, pimply, bleeding fucking mess for the wedding. Yay. Need to get that damn hysterectomy already. Seriously. Done with that bullshit.

In other news, the house is really coming along and daresay, I’m happy about it! The Ikea kitchen is super fab, although John admits he misses having spices in upper cabinets (only base cabinets around the stove). I am still loving my Craiglist Chinese cabinet: it’s awesome, especially for hiding all our junk.

In preparation for my parents’ arrival, I recently acquired a kickass futon off Craigslist (now John and I won’t have to sleep on the floor while the ‘rents take our bedroom). The futon comes with an interesting story actually. I went to check out this monster piece (turns out I only buy furniture that’s a minimum of 7’ long…), and as I plugged in the address, I realized the guy lived in a trailer park. I know, it’s totally elitist, but I immediately started thinking Sandra Cantu. As I drove around searching for his unit, my mind went nuts thinking up escape scenarios and shit. It was awful. And then I got so pissed at myself for thinking these awful things just because I was in a trailer park (although frankly, I guess I think of escape scenarios for lots of my Craigslist meetups). Anyway, I’m sure the couple thought I was a freak, because I hesitated going in to the guest bedroom to see it and I didn’t even sit on it to try it out. I’m telling you, I was nervous as hell. Thankfully, the transaction went smoothly, and it is a damn nice futon– not the usual college kid kind that’s low to the ground. Yeah, with all this Craigslisting, I think I need to get myself a truck. 🙂

Nope, house construction still ain’t done. Sure, a new beginning with house stuff would be the best news ever, but nope, it’s just not happening. Whatever. Instead, this new beginning is all about the gas leak that was detected at our house nine days ago. You see, ever since John and I moved here in mid-June, we’d been crazy tired. Like abnormally tired. I had blogged about this many times, but we chalked it up with house madness and shingles (brought on by house madness). Well, last last week I went back to the doctor. Like come on, I’m 34 NOT 84… I should have more energy than this. Got bloodwork done– all came back normal. Then, because we had been noticing occasional whiffs of gas, I finally got PGE out to inspect, and holy shit, the guy detected/repaired a small leak in our gas furnace. It was one of those things… like, I thought I had smelled something but everything was powered off, and you know my fucking nose– who can trust a nose that screws up my sense of taste so badly that I can’t even tell that I’m drinking sour milk?? Long story short, the guy came out, fixed the leak, and now I have returned to near normalcy. John and I both, actually. It had been SO damn long since I have been this functional that I had nearly forgotten what “normalcy” was even like. I’ve gained a whole new lease on life, I’m telling you.

And another cool thing– both John and I stepped on the scale recently and noticed that we dropped a few extra pounds. We’d been complaining about the few extra stubborn pounds, and then suddenly, after a few weeks of not weighing in, bam, the pounds came off! Of course, this loss is very possibly attributed to almost 2 months of sleep deprivation, gas exposure, and chronic fatigue. Or maybe it’s my granola bar lunch diet? I don’t know, but thank goodness. Something positive from the last several weeks.

Lots of other things going on… house construction is coming close to the end. Hopefully mid-August completion. Fingers crossed. I tested out the master shower today. Very nice. Now we’re just waiting on the glass sliding doors, which I purchased online. I love online shopping. God, it’s so much better than going to the store and dealing with bullshit incompetence. Sure, colors/sizes are kind of a guessing game, but with return policies, who the fuck cares. After some practice, I’m sizing shit up pretty well. I hardly ever have to return stuff anymore.

I’m still dying for a vacation, but I think that’s going to be a while. John’s work is on some weird deliverable schedule, and I’m sure once all the house construction is done, I’ll want to just fart around at home anyway. That said, the calendar is starting to get exciting again. A couple of plays, a wedding, AND I just purchased a 4-hr horseback riding dealio around Mt. Diablo State Park. I sent out to several friends to join, but only my buddy Dave came through. That dude is always up for anything. I swear, if I ever get that arm sleeve tattoo, I bet he’ll be a shoe-in to join.

Ok, running out of juice. It’s been a long weekend. John and I went hot tub researching/shopping on Saturday, then tonight my friends taught me out to play Texas Hold-em. Can you believe, I won the last game where everyone put all their chips into the pot?? Sure, it was fake money, but damn, it was fun to win. 🙂 I should have captured that shit on camera. That frickin’ game is so complicated. Who can remember the hierarchy of hands?? I need to go back to Majiang. Surely it’s simpler than poker.

OMG, I have been so fricking tired lately. Neither John nor I am resting well at the new house, and this has been going on for over a month! Something has got to give, because I am arriving at work all ill-rested and cranky and just bitchy as hell. Yup, bad attitude to the max. And of course, I am breaking out like crazy, and that only makes me want to hole myself up at home like my old troubled days. Hell yeah, I’m about to turn into a fucking unabomber, I tell you.

Laura is proceeding. We got that second contractor in to get going on the master bath, so you know, more goddamn decisions. Seriously, people in the States have WAY too many choices on EVERYTHING. I just want a simple shower fixture. Fucking five catalogs later, we had to actually talk to a shopkeeper in person so we could get this shit figured out. You need a rough, a trim, and then you can go for a shower panel, a showerbar trio, a showerhead, a handshower… WTF??? I spend FIVE minutes every day in the damn shower. No, I don’t want body spray nozzles and aromatherapy and chromatherapy and steam jets or whatever. Jesus fucking Christ. In the end, we got the simplest possible setup, and it still set us back $450. That’s what you get with the Bubs. It might be basic, but it had better be top of the line. We went with Grohe. But the good news is that it’s selected and done. Parts arrive tomorrow, contractor already demoed the bathroom, pulled out the 300-lb tub, removed all the dryrot around the windows (water damage for years and years), rebuilt the framing, put in a new, smaller window, and come Monday, the shower fixture goes in. Exhale. Seriously. I’m not even doing the construction and this is so much fucking work!! It REALLY makes me wonder how other people are doing this. I mean, I am on it 24/7 and then I have John on it– we’re not wizards but it’s taken a lot of brain power. All of it. From measuring out the kitchen for new cabinets, new arrangements, specing out the cab units, measuring where to put the damn handles, deciding bath tile, calculating how many tiles, how arranged (seriously, the tile store guy did NOT help us– what ordinary person does measurements and math anymore these days??)… Exhale. Not that anyone REALLY cares, but I’m putting together a doc on what materials we purchased, where, etc. It would have been nice to have a cheatsheet of sorts. Sure would have saved us a lot of time and energy. Like dishwashers– holy crap. Consumer Reports is bogus. We don’t trust them. All the units they recommended got shit reviews on Amazon. Anyway, if you’re doing house crap and are looking for materials, I’m happy to send you the list. Btw, shopping online is incredible. Saves you SO much money. Customer service at the big box stores just ain’t what it used to be anyway. I’d rather save myself the money, gas, and frustration of dealing with incompetent store people. Total hassle.

In other news, big projects are wrapping up at work. I’ve grown quickly disgruntled there. Probably a combo of my own direct experiences and hearsay from those I trust. Shitty leaders suck, that’s all I gotta say. I’m so glad tomorrow is Friday. Already in need of a massive break. Btw, following the news lately? Seems like a rash of violent crimes lately. What the fuck is going on? The world is fucked. I’m convinced of it.

On that happy note, ta ta. Time for a hot shower and then going to bed early.

Wow, two weeks have passed already since my last post. I know I say this a lot, but seriously, where does all the fucking time go?

I’ve been busy… For the record, I DID in fact get a shingles recurrence. Yay. A few days after my exasperated post, my friend came down for dinner and I showed her my rash (not over dinner, of course!). Dr. G confirmed that herpes zoster had indeed made a comeback; fortunately, she acted fast, and I started anti-virals the very next day: a week-long routine of popping 800 mg horsepills five times a day. And all fricking week, I felt so damn tired. The drug specs didn’t say anything about the meds inducing lethargy but boy, I really slept that entire holiday weekend away.

The good news is I’m mostly better now. Still feeling tired, but that’s probably more due to my insomnia than anything else. As for Laura, the kitchen is really coming along. The contractor (yes, the one whom I had fired and then rehired) has come out six more times, and now all the flooring is done, the cabinets are in place, the dishwasher is installed, the plywood countertop bases are in, and we’ll get our quartz kitchen countertops by the end of this week (fingers crossed!). It’s amazing how everything has suddenly picked up. I’ve learned now that the real secret is to have all your goods on site– that’s what motivates the contractor to get working. If you’re waiting on any parts, that only gives him a reason to wait and stall…

In related news, we hired an interior designer to give us an idea for the living room. Yeah, designers are pricey, but it’s kinda like the style makeover thing. We wanted to see what all this expert service was all about. Plus, we were certainly out of ideas. We had sold the monster sectional couch from our last place, so we were ready for a clean slate. Interestingly, a week later, his solution was in our hands. We got a design board with floor/furniture layout, paint/furniture/curtain/lighting product selections, fabric selections, and a binder with info on where to source all the goods. I must say, at first, I didn’t find his solution all that appealing (probably because I was expecting something else… sound familiar?), but after sleeping on it a few days and discussing with my other designer-type friends, his combo has actually grown on me. And I admit, I tried to take his idea and move forward sourcing cheaper alternatives, but the items he selected were so ridiculously unique, I had very little luck. The distinctiveness of his pieces might also explain the $14k furnishings price tag. Yup, that’s just the living room, folks. I kinda had more of a $3k budget in mind…

That said, we’ll just have to go in steps. This weekend, John and I ordered our sofa. I’d been eying the Crate and Barrel petrie for months now, and although it wasn’t the couch the designer suggested, he did give the ok after I told him I wasn’t thrilled with his “transitional” rather than “midcentury” pick. Of course, that damn C&B sofa will take 8-10 weeks, so until then… don’t come over! 🙂 I know, who waits that long for ANYthing in this day and age, right??!

In non-Laura news, things are the usual. We’re kinda bummed that summer is nearly over, and we’ve been completely consumed with house stuff, but I do see the light at the end of the tunnel– I am “asking the universe” (not really) for a functional kitchen by next week. Then, it’s back to our former life. On Tuesday, I’m going to a dress rehearsal for a production at the theater. Seriously, I cannot remember the last time I saw a play. God, I miss it. Then Wednesday, we’re going to some author’s reading/talk about clicking with people. You know I’m obsessed about relationships, so I hope this will be super interesting. Next weekend, some friends from Shanghai are to be in town and I hope we can just eat, drink, and be merry suburbanite-style. At some point, I hope also to pick up a book or browse through magazines… In the fall, I’m looking to return to self-improvement. Anyone want to do Landmark Forum with me? I’ve met some pretty amazing people who have done this… I’m thinking it’s the next step towards acquiring the super powers I have always wanted. 🙂

So I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday… the contractor woes and delays just weren’t getting better, and I was finding myself completely preoccupied with house stuff while at work. I couldn’t concentrate, I couldn’t get shit done… I just couldn’t get firm answers from Jerry. Then the delays pissed my realtor off even more, and she practically started building a case to blacklist him everywhere. Finally, I decided I could not keep doing this– babysitting the contractor and his crew– seeing when they would arrive, when they would be at the home next. I can multi-task, but I do NOT like to nag and harp. I want people to have pride in their work and to feel their own sense of accountability. Sure, I understand the construction biz is a challenging one. You either don’t have any gigs, or you have too many commitments and I get that when you open up walls, sometimes you never know what’s behind them so slippage is common. But what I couldn’t handle was the flakiness and lack of communication. Last Friday, I had left maybe 4 messages on his cell and I never heard back until the following Tuesday. So while I liked the guy and felt his work quality was good and he was honest in explaining the construction tasks, he was extremely lacking in communicating scheduling expectations and delays.

Yesterday, after being on the phone for hours debating these issues and why they were unacceptable, I finally just told him, finish to XYZ tonight, and then let’s just call it done. I simply could not continue at this level of involvement and frustration.

When I got home, the floors looked fantastic. I talked with Jerry, and as “penance”, he offered himself and the crew for the entire day on Tuesday where they would install the base cabinets, finish the drywall, and lay the kitchen flooring. All of it done on Tuesday for $400. I told him I’d think about it, and let him know.

Then I set up appointments for today (Friday) with another contractor (getting Plan B in line) and an interior designer. I needed progress fast.

By evening, as I was researching new jobs to deal with my newfound disgruntlement at work. I couldn’t find shit. And then I felt trapped. And then John called, and I broke down in tears. It was just too much. All of it. The house projects, the emotional strain of befriending then firing my contractor, the starting over trying to recruit new contractors, the job situation (today is Take Your Dog to Work Day)… I just couldn’t take it anymore.

By late evening, I started itching around my waist. The bumps were coming back… three years ago, I got the shingles and the same itchiness and discomfort was returning. I had a complete meltdown.

So here we are today: Friday afternoon. I didn’t go to work. I was too unstable. This morning, I met with a new contractor and the interior designer. I have a new plan now. Carpets will install Monday. Kitchen will be mostly done by Tuesday. Then, I’m working with the designer who will propose a solution in one week. I’m taking a 2-week break afterwards from construction. Then, we’ll start on the master bath.

I often think about my resiliency and tolerance. Why did I have this meltdown? Why was my body reacting with a possible second bout of shingles? I have been feeling stressed and overwhelmed, but shouldn’t I be able to handle this and MORE? I’m disappointed. Part of my breakdown had to do with disappointment and self doubt. How was I not able to manage this contractor? How did this level of slippage occur? What more should I have done? And yet, this is just what happened. I tried to reel him in. I tried to communicate my expectations. I tried to get things in writing… I just don’t know what happened.

And now my body has shut down. So today I’m trying to take it easy. But still kind of trying to formulate a plan for moving forward– I know, people say I need to pace myself. Yet I see other people doing more. What’s their secret? How do I get there? I know, I’m a ball of contradictions: rest but don’t rest, do more. I can’t help it. I really want superpowers. Is that so much to ask?

Well, we did it! Somehow, even with a sick Bubbey, we managed to pack up all our shit, move with the help of 3 guys + truck, transfer all the refrigerated goods, load another 3 car-fulls of shit, and clear on our of Armada. Boy, what an ordeal.

Today, we both headed to Armada after work to pile up the last junk– fragiles, paintings, odds and ends. We had planned to hit the pool and hot tub on our final visit, but John forgot he already turned in the pool key and I had packed up my swimsuit. But luck was with us: John found my swimsuit– turns out he only found the top half (he thought it was a one-piece). Sure, the bottoms were missing but whatev. I threw on some soccer shorts and it was good enough. Also, we managed to tailgate another neighbor in. Haha, got my final soak. Oh how I will miss the water. :*(

I took some pictures, because I couldn’t believe how great we left the place– after 3.5 years. And it’s amazing how spacious a place can feel without all our crap. See for yourself.

But on to bigger and better. Before driving home, we had dinner at our favorite hole-in-the-wall Vietnamese bun place. The new adventures of Goodbers begin again!

Never say never, right? John and I said we didn’t believe in the institution of marriage; six and a half years in, we tied the knot. We said we weren’t ready to buy a home; two days later, we were under contract. We said we disliked children… now, in our mid-30’s, we’re essentially new parents. And the child’s name is Laura (you’ll see when you come visit). And what a huge fucking time sink she is!! Every fucking day, there’s something that has to be handled with Laura. During the day, I’m making calls, going to her “games”, and meeting with her “teachers”. At night, I’m researching what options are best for her, getting her the supplies she needs to have a productive, happy life.

At this point, I’m telling my boss, “Yeah, Laura’s got a game tonight. I’m heading over. Tomorrow there’s a PTA conference. The day after, it’s piano lessons.” Ok, if you haven’t figured it out by now, Laura is our new house. But I’m thinking this must be what parenting is like… only worse. At least Laura is deaf/mute.

So what’s on tap for this weekend? Early moving, confirming bathroom materials, putting on a lockbox for the contractors. We still haven’t decided on the damn kitchen cabinets: we’re down to one final competing product; otherwise, Ikea, here we come! My contractor is a great guy, very thorough but goddamn, he doesn’t return calls or reply to emails. I’m trying to decide whether that’s a deal breaker.

In other news, the Reston home is finally under new management. God people, whatever you do, avoid McGrath at all costs. My contract with them terminated May 31, and guess what? My tenant received an email June 1 asking to schedule an inspection in late June. That’s what I’m talking about: they are perpetually disorganized. The head doesn’t talk to any of the limbs/organs. A complete fucking mess. I hope the new property management company is more competent, because seriously, at that point, I might as well have just managed the property myself from Cali and that STILL would have been 10 times better. Ugh. Anyway…

Today the landlord of our current place is coming over for an inspection. Not really sure how she’s going to inspect given that most everything is in boxes all over the frickin’ place, but whatever. Then, we’re taking the pups to their new pad. Can’t wait to see them frolic in the yard. They’re going to love all the sunshine too.

Ok, well time to start the day.

Saw this in my twitter feed this morning: Sorry, Man, You’re Too Short (Am I A Bad Feminist?)